Following up on the news of the American Press Institute's plans to convene 50 newspaper execs for a one-day summit next week to come up with ideas to save the industry, a friend asks, "How many newspaper CEOs does it take to change the business?"
OK, I'll bite. Possible answers:
- 50--One to hold the lightbulb and the other 49 to turn the socket.
- 50--But not this 50.
- 50--One to hold the lightbulb and 49 to bitch that readers and advertisers just don't understand why fire was a better source of light.
- 50--One to take notes (on paper, of course), and 49 to rearrange the deck chairs.
- 100--OK, who invited the circulation guy who inflates the numbers?
- 50--Five who might actually understand what's going on and 45 to rush the bar the second the meeting is over.
- 44--The other six lost their jobs in the week before the meeting.
- 50--10 who are looking for jobs on craigslist and 40 who still aren't sure what craigslist is.
- 50--10 who think blogs are evil, 10 who haven't figured out how to turn on their Blackberries, 10 who didn't show up because their assistant forgot to print out the e-mail containing the invitation, 10 who still think the API is a relevant organization and 10 who think the Internets are a series of tubes.
- None--Why do we need change? Did you see how many copies of the Obama paper we sold?
You failed to note a few points:
-- The keynote speaker at this event is Steve Miller, author of The Turnaround Kid: What I Learned Rescuing America’s Most Troubled Companies. The book tells his story about being an executive with the Chrysler auto company, and a Delphi auto parts executive. Well, we all know what condition Detroit is in. What is he going to tell newspaper execs: if they want to protect their monopolies, they need to follow the path of the auto monopolies and stream to Washington for a government bailout soonest or they are going to be out of business?
-- In what must certainly be a sign of the times, the API says this is going to be all-expense-paid for newspaper execs, including free room and board at an exclusive Reston, Va., hotel. And $500 in travel subsidies. Considering that most of the newspaper executives attending aren't going to get much of a bonus this year, and certainly are struggling on their six or seven-figure salaries.
-- The event is convening on Nov. 13, the 300th anniversary of the surrender of Bonnie Prince Charles troops in Scotland. Speaking of lost causes. I bet they newspaper execs are going to drink a lot of scotch to that event.
-- The press is excluded, and the remarks of newspaper execs are to be on a not for attribution basis.
Posted by: edward | November 06, 2008 at 05:43 PM
Ha! That's some good material. Nice work.
Posted by: fort lauderdale | November 07, 2008 at 01:37 PM
Love the post!
How about:
--50:1 to talk and 49 to listen, agree and make the 1 feel important
Posted by: Marsha Ducey | November 07, 2008 at 03:17 PM
very funny. thx.
Posted by: carl | November 08, 2008 at 09:07 AM
nicely done!
Posted by: joewhoknows | November 08, 2008 at 02:02 PM
Mark -
I am at API Summit, and am the only one liveblogging at http://cpetersia.wordpress.com
Nothing I blog will be attributed.
There is good attendance, energy and attention.
We all agree that there are structural issues.
Hope to see you at live blog.
Chuck
Posted by: Chuck Peters | November 13, 2008 at 09:26 AM